HELP CENTER

Q: Why is adoption such a complex issue? A: Adoption involves a myriad of factors like language, loss, expectations, and family dynamics. Each child’s experience is unique, making it essential to approach adoptee-focused therapy with particular care, sensitivity, and consideration.

Q: Can any mental health professional effectively support my adopted child? A: While many are well-versed in mental health, not all understand the intricacies of adoption/foster care. It’s crucial to find someone with specific knowledge and experience in these areas of focus who an adoptee can trust to guide them through their adoptee identity development journey.

Q: What happens if my child sees a therapist who isn’t familiar with adoption issues? A: A poor match can lead to unproductive sessions, wasting time and resources. In the worst-case scenario, it could be fatally harmful through the misunderstanding of struggles or minimization of experiences.

Q: What should I look for in an adoption-competent mental health professional? A: They should understand core issues in adoption, trauma-focused therapy techniques, attachment theories, and the impact of grief and loss. This foundational knowledge is vital for effective support.

Q: What should I ask a mental health professional during the screening process? A: Consider asking: How much of your practice involves working with adoptees? What strategies/modalities do you use to help build attachment? How do you differentiate between typical developmental challenges and adoption- related issues? How do you incorporate birth families/culture into treatment? If in an open adoption - do you consider the inclusion of first family in treatment when appropriate? How do you speak to adoption/race with kids?

Look for professionals who acknowledge and address racial identity and systemic issues. Avoid those who promote “colorblindness” or ignore the importance of integrating birth culture or show indications of supporting the right to possess.

Personal experiences, like my own journey as an adoptee, have highlighted the gaps in knowledge that some professionals may have about understanding the experiences of adoptees and fosterees. Even respected experts can overlook key adoption-related issues, which can negatively affect the support they provide.

Q: What warning signs should I watch out for when choosing a therapist? Lack of Inquiry About Adoption: If a professional doesn’t ask further questions after you mention you or your child’s adoption; strong indication here that they may not understand the complexities of being an adoptee. Misunderstanding Adoption Experiences: Assuming that adoptees don’t face challenges if adopted at birth shows a lack of awareness about the many unique challenges or struggles they may encounter. Uniform Parenting Approach: Believing that adoptees should be or were fine to be raised exactly like biological children ignores the specific needs and backgrounds of adoptees. Refusal to Engage Parents: A therapist focused solely on young adoptees (up to the age of 13) without involving parents in the process may hinder effective collaboration and support. Overly Positive Views on Adoption: Speaking only positively about adoption or viewing adoptive parents as saviors can dismiss the nuanced realities of adoption, including the experiences of birth parents. Over-Diagnosis of Conditions: Labeling or being labeled with multiple diagnoses, particularly those like RAD or ADHD, without thorough evaluation can be concerning and may not reflect their true needs. Encouraging Isolation or Punishment: Hearing the promotion of isolation or punitive measures instead of attachment-friendly discipline is likely to harm the emotional well-being of an adoptee. Dismissing Pre-Verbal Trauma: Not believing in the impact of pre-verbal trauma or implicit memories suggests a lack of understanding of the effects of early experiences on adoptees.

I offer therapy focused on adoption/foster care and adoptee identity development as well as couples therapy. I enjoy working within the diversity of the BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ communities.

Yes, I was adopted from Colombia and I am an adoptee-focused therapist, centering on adoptee voices and their adoptee identity development through their lived experiences; pre and post-adoption.

I don't practice out of state therapy, however, I can do coaching for out of state clients.

I am out of network with all insurance companies. Many clients are able to utilize their out-of-network benefits for counseling services and get reimbursed by their insurance company. I will provide you with a copy of a superbill which you can submit for possible reimbursement. I also encourage you to verify your out-of-network benefits prior to your session. If you have access to HRA/FSA/HAS funds, I accept those funds as forms of payment along with credit cards.

If you have landed here, you likely hold one of the following identities (Adoptive / Prospective Adoptive Parent(s), Foster / Prospective Foster Parent(s), and/or Counseling Professionals) and have an adoptee/fosteree in your life who is having interpersonal or self-identity issues that you do not fully understand in the context of their adoptee/fosteree identity; or you are a prospective adoptive/foster parent who wants to understand what the realities of adoption/foster care might be for you. I offer consultations for you to help you better understand these populations.

Q: What is LGBTQIA therapy? A: LGBTQIA therapy is a specialized form of therapy that focuses on the unique experiences, challenges, and strengths of LGBTQIA individuals. It recognizes the impact of societal factors and helps clients explore their identity in a safe, affirming space.

Q: What questions should I ask when looking for an LGBTQIA-affirming therapist? A: Consider asking: What experience do you have working with LGBTQIA clients? How do you approach issues related to gender identity and sexual orientation? Can you explain your understanding of intersectionality in therapy?

Q: How can a therapist show they understand LGBTQIA issues? A: Knowledgeable therapists will be familiar with the unique stressors faced by LGBTQIA individuals, including: Discrimination: Experiencing unfair treatment based on sexual orientation or gender identity can lead to feelings of isolation and anxiety; therapists can validate these experiences and provide strategies to cope with the emotional fallout. Identity Exploration: The journey of understanding and affirming one’s identity can be complex and fraught with uncertainty; therapists should support clients in exploring their identities without judgment and facilitate discussions about self-acceptance. Relationship Dynamics: LGBTQIA individuals may navigate unique challenges in romantic and familial relationships, often impacted by societal stigma; therapists can help clients improve communication and navigate conflicts with understanding and sensitivity. Gender Dysphoria: The discomfort stemming from a mismatch between one’s experienced gender and assigned gender at birth can cause significant distress; knowledgeable therapists should recognize its impact on mental health and offer affirming support. Minority Stress: The chronic stress associated with being part of a marginalized group can lead to mental health issues; therapists can discuss this concept and its effects, helping clients develop coping mechanisms and resilience.

Q: What therapeutic modalities are effective in LGBTQIA therapy? A: Common modalities include: Affirmative Therapy: Focuses on validating and affirming a client's identity and experiences, promoting self-acceptance and resilience. Narrative Therapy: Encourages clients to explore and reframe their personal narratives, empowering them to see themselves as the authors of their own stories, especially in the context of identity. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS): A therapeutic approach that views the mind as composed of distinct parts, helping individuals recognize, understand, and integrate these parts to achieve emotional healing and self-leadership. Trauma-Informed Therapy: Acknowledges the impact of trauma on mental health, particularly for clients who have experienced discrimination, bullying, or violence based on their identity. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Focuses on accepting thoughts and feelings while committing to actions aligned with personal values, fostering resilience in the face of societal challenges. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps clients identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors, which can be particularly useful for addressing issues like anxiety and depression. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness strategies, helping clients manage emotions and improve interpersonal effectiveness. Group Therapy: Provides a supportive environment where LGBTQIA individuals can share experiences, reduce isolation, and build community.

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Q: How can couples/partners benefit from therapy? A: Couples/partners can benefit from therapy by improving communication, resolving conflicts, deepening emotional connections, rebuilding trust, and gaining a better understanding of each other's needs and perspectives.

Q: What types of relationship structures can relationship therapy accommodate? A: Relationship therapy can support a wide variety of relationship structures, including monogamous, polyamorous, open, and ENM (Ethically Non-Monogamous) relationships, as well as LGBTQ+ partnerships. A skilled therapist will be affirming of all identities and relationship orientations, providing a safe space for honest exploration and growth.

Q: Why is it important to find a therapist experienced in diverse relationship structures? A: Not all therapists have experience or training in supporting diverse relationships. Without a nuanced understanding, a therapist might impose biases or fail to validate the complexities of non-traditional structures, which can be counterproductive or even harmful. It’s essential to find someone who understands and respects the unique dynamics of your relationship type.

Q: What are the risks of working with a therapist who isn't the right fit? A: A mismatched therapist may not understand your needs, might unintentionally reinforce harmful stereotypes, or fail to validate your experiences. This can lead to feeling judged, misunderstood, or dismissed, and can ultimately hinder the therapeutic process or cause harm.

Q: What are key questions to ask a potential relationship therapist to determine if they are a good fit? A: Consider asking: How do you approach working with diverse relationship structures? What is your stance on cultural differences within relationships? What is your experience in supporting LGBTQ+, ENM, poly partnerships? What therapeutic modalities do you commonly use in relationship therapy? How do you handle conflicts of values between you and your clients? How do you ensure that all partners’ voices are heard equally in sessions?

Q: What are red flags to watch for with a relationship therapist? A: Look out for these: The therapist shows discomfort or makes judgmental comments about your relationship structure or identity. They impose traditional or stereotypical views of relationships without considering your unique situation. There’s a lack of curiosity or openness to learning about your specific relationship dynamics. The therapist tends to take sides in conflicts rather than facilitating mutual understanding. They minimize or ignore cultural, racial, or identity-based differences between partners. They lack clarity about their qualifications or lack understanding of relationship-specific techniques/approaches.

Q: What are the most common modalities used in relationship therapy? A: Listen for these: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Focuses on identifying and changing patterns of emotional response to foster secure, lasting relationships. It emphasizes emotional connection and attachment. Internal Family Systems (IFS): Centers on understanding the various 'parts' of each partner’s psyche and how these parts interact within the relationship. It helps partners recognize and address internal dynamics that impact the relationship. Systems Theory: Looks at the relationship as part of a larger system, understanding how family dynamics, social context, and life experiences affect partners. Gottman Method: Based on research, this approach emphasizes building relationship skills, enhancing communication, and nurturing friendship and respect. Narrative Therapy: Helps partners separate themselves from their problems by re-authoring their story and exploring alternative narratives that align with their values and goals. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Aims to change harmful thought patterns and behaviors that negatively impact relationships, focusing on developing healthier communication and interaction patterns.

Q: How do I know if my therapist respects my relationship style? A: A respectful therapist will be curious about your relationship style without making assumptions, validate your experiences, and avoid imposing their own values. They should be knowledgeable about your relationship type or willing to educate themselves to support you effectively.

Q: What should I expect in the first few sessions of relationship therapy? A: In the initial sessions, a therapist typically gathers background information, sets goals with you, and explores the dynamics of your relationship. They may ask about communication styles, recurring conflicts, and each partner's perspectives on the relationship. It’s also a time to see if the therapist’s approach aligns with your needs and if they can hold space for the unique aspects of your relationship.